


i'd step on a grenade (so you can see i'm the bomb)

by caramon



Category: New Girl
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Unbeta'd, also aggressive air quoting courtesy of jess, just them being really cute and dumb, there is one (1) smooch in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 05:56:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16717691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramon/pseuds/caramon
Summary: Nick Miller likes to divide his life into two parts: pre-Jessica Day, and post-Jessica Day.





	i'd step on a grenade (so you can see i'm the bomb)

**Author's Note:**

> i have spent the last week or so binge watching new girl in inconsistent intervals and it has TAKEN OVER MY LIFE i am overwhelmed and i love nick and jess . i fell in love w them in the pilot episode and it just. kept going lmao. anyway this specific thing doesnt actually happen but i figured it'd be cute!!

Nick Miller likes to divide his life into two parts: pre-Jessica Day, and post-Jessica Day. He feels that things are easier to understand this way; pre-Jess meant things like taking the last slice of pie even if Schmidt probably wanted it, or working back-to-back shifts at the bar then going home, sitting on the couch to channel surf and as Coach had so eloquently put it, “let his beans out”. It’s a system, one he knows well and is completely fine with.

Post-Jessica, on the other hand meant having to wake up before noon to one of or all of these things: a.) real, actual breakfast fit for human consumption, b.) obnoxious singing in the shower, c.) obnoxious singing in his bed, d.) her arms wrapped around him and her chin tucked in the crook of his neck because she simply refuses to be the little spoon. ( _“Down with the system!”_ ) Sometimes she spoons him, _then_ starts singing, with her large, loud mouth right next to his sensitive baby ears. He loves hating it. He loves complaining about it too, and Jess tells him she loves when he complains.

Nick pulls a face, one that says sorta disturbed, mostly confused.

“Is that some weird, degrading kink? Do you like when people complain about your singing?” he asks. He puts down a shot glass he was wiping down on the bartop. The place is mostly empty, and Nick appreciates it. His head hurts and he can’t quite remember if he had eaten anything all today besides the bagel he found in his closet while he was looking for a shirt that didn’t smell too bad.

Jess throws her head back to laugh, that weird, manufactured little laugh of hers where every single _ha_ is completely overpronounced. _Ha ha ha ha ha._ “When you ‘complain’ about my ‘obnoxious’ singing, you’re not ‘actually’ complaining, because your ‘eyes’ do that thing where they do the ‘frowning’ for you but your mouth ‘quirks up’ at the sides like you’re ‘trying’ not to smile,” she says. She’s so smug. He wants to wipe the smugness off her face. Kiss it off her. He also wants to take a step back because, wow, all the aggressive air quotes in that single sentence _actually_ happened.

“You don’t even air quote at the right words, Jess, I don’t understand you at all.”

“You like my singing,” Jess explains, voice sweet and coaxing. Her head is tilted kindly to the side, like she’s explaining to a child that _yes I know you enjoy playing the cello but sweetheart you are_ so _bad at it_ . _You suck._

“You’re just being a weirdo in denial!” Jess adds. Nick scoffs at that, plucks another shot glass from the plastic tub and wipes it dry. “You’re trying to tell me that in _this_ relationship, between you and me, _I’m_ the weirdo?” Jess nods again, and is that sympathy on her face right now? Unbelievable. He leans over the counter to give her a kiss.

“Fine,” he says, then. “I’m the weirdo.” He doesn't mind being the weirdo at all. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbeta'd so if u see any typos!! hmu!! also i feel like the way i cut the paragraphs up look weird??? if u have any advice for that pls lmk. also sorry its so short, i wrote this in between a slightly longer 5+1 fic which Should happen soon. thank u for reading and please!! leave a kudos or a comment if u enjoyed!! i'd love to see if anyone else is still active here even tho its been literal years?? talk to me about new girl please i need to SCREECH


End file.
